The Moment She Knew
by BurningxRedxCaskett
Summary: She knew for a while now that she had feelings for her partner. She's been trying to deny them, ignore that they're there. But after coming so close to losing him tonight, they rose to the surface and that's when she knew. She couldn't pretend anymore. Post 3XK


**Authors Note:** After re-watching the 3XK episode for the millionth time, inspiration struck, and this little number came out. I just feel like Kate realized she loved Castle during that episode, or at least excepted the fact that she was in love with him in that episode. Don't get me wrong, I love the way that they got together in the show, hello, Always is like one of my favorite episodes ever...

Anyway...I hope you like this story. Feedback is always appreciated.

Thanks to **alwayscastle2** for reading this.

Reviews are love, leave some!

-Krystle

* * *

She walks through the door to her empty apartment, dropping her keys in the bowl next to the door. She looks around the quiet space and sighs. This case was a doozey. They were played the whole time. The story was twisted, and the real killer played the victim. She almost lost Ryan. She almost lost Castle.

_Rick._

She shudders at the thought of losing him. When she and Javi figured out that the triple killer was the man that Ryan and Castle were with, her adrenaline took over. She drove as fast as she could, breaking so many laws – even with her lights on – but she didn't care. She had to save them. She wasn't about lose anyone else she cares about to murder.

She should have waited for Javi to catch up to her. She ran up the stairs to the motel two at a time. Gun drawn, adrenaline pumping and thoughts racing, she managed to kick in the door in less than a second. Her eyes found Castle slumped over in a chair. She remembers thinking the worst. That she was too late and that he was dead.

"_Castle!"_

"_Clear, he's gone. I'm fine. Ryan needs an ambulance."_

"_No I don't."_

_As Javi went over to Ryan, she rushed to Castle's side, trying to release him from his restraints. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispers. _

She knew for a while now that she had feelings for her partner. She's been trying to deny them, ignore that they're there. But after coming so close to losing him tonight, they rose to the surface and that's when she knew. She couldn't pretend anymore.

_She hands him the coffee, and stares out over the pool water. "Tell me something Castle, why did he let you live?"_

"_To punish me," he answers without missing a beat, and looks over at her. When she looks over at him he continues. "For ruining his plan. Now he's going to kill again, all because I couldn't stop him." After a short pause, he shakes his head. "I feel so –"_

_She looks over at him again. Seeing this broken man. He's usually the one to comfort her. Telling her that everything is going to be okay. But now the tables are turned and she needs to be the strong one for him. So she does the only thing she can think of, and places her hand on his knee. "I know the feeling."_

_He turns to her, "I know you do." He grabs her hand and rubs his thumb over her knuckles, giving her comfort back. Thanking her for the comfort she's giving him._

She walks into the kitchen and pulls out her coffee tin, and starts the process of brewing; although she could go with something a bit stronger tonight. She's fought her feelings tooth and nail since last summer. Since Rick took off to the Hamptons with his ex-wife. She always regretted making him wait too long for an answer about spending the weekend with him. She's not the kind of girl to sit around and wonder the 'what ifs' in life, but since that summer all she could think about was 'what if Gina hadn't walked around the corner? What if I told him that I'd go with him?'

It's no use. She abandons the coffee maker, grabs her keys, and walks out of the apartment. Fifteen minutes and a cab ride later, she's standing outside his building. His doorman instantly recognizes her and says, "Good evening, Detective."

"Good evening," she returns, and smiles softly at him. "And it's just Kate tonight."

He winks at her knowingly, "Okay, Kate."

Her cheeks burn a deep shade of crimson, and she walks into the warm lobby. She decides to take the stairs instead of waiting in the elevator. In no time she's standing outside the door to his loft. She takes a steadying breath and brings her hand up and knocks.

Soon, the door opens, and she looks up to be met with Rick's blue eyes. She smiles softly at him. "Hi," she whispers.

"Hey," he says, stepping aside and letting her in. "What are you doing here? It's late."

She turns to face him as he closes the door, and shrugs. Her eyes meet his and she can see that he's still blaming himself for Tyson getting away. Her eyes fill with tears at seeing him so broken. At almost losing him. At the regret she feels for keeping her feelings bottled up for so long.

"I just – I had to – I needed –"

He nods in understanding and walks the short distance to her, enveloping her in his strong arms. He closes his eyes as her arms wrap around his waist. "I know."

She presses her cheek firmly into his chest, breathing him in. His scent engulfing her. He's warm. His heart is pounding in his chest; she heard it speed up when she locked her arms around him. The tears fall from her face, his shirt soaking them up. "I was so scared, Castle."

"So was I, Kate," he whispers. "But I'm fine, Kevin's fine."

She nods against his chest. She takes a calming breath and lifts her head to look up at him. She smiles softly at him, her eyes skimming over his face. She can't control herself; she leans in and presses her lips softly to his. She's about to pull away, thinking maybe he doesn't want this, want her, that she's waited too long; but then he starts to reciprocate.

One of his hands finds its way to her cheek, as she slides one of her arms up and around his neck, brushing her fingertips in the ends of his hair. She's aching for more, to be closer to him, but he's started to push her away. He grips her shoulders and gently pushes her to stand back.

She catches her breath and brings her hazel eyes up to look into his crystal blue orbs. The hand that was on the back of his neck, now cups his cheek. "What's wrong, Rick?"

Sadness washes over his face and he shakes his head. "We can't do this, Kate."

"Rick –"

"No," he says as firmly as he can. "I want this, I really do. You have no idea how much; how long I've waited for you to want this too. But you're not a cheater, Kate. I'm not about to be the man you cheat on someone with."

Oh. Right. She didn't tell him. She takes a breath and whispers, "Well, it's a good thing I'm single then."

His head snaps up at that, and he quirks his eyebrow. "Single? What about -?"

Kate reaches for his hands with hers, laces their fingers. "After I sent you home for the night, I lost it. I was in the break room, and everything that had happened just – it hit me like a Mack-truck." As a tear escapes her eye, she takes a shuddering breath. "I almost _lost_ you today, Rick. You were almost killed. I can't imagine…"

"Kate –"

She shakes her head, and he knows that she wants to finish. "Espo walked in, and he _knew," _she takes a shaky breath, the memory of a couple hours ago coming back to her. "He _knew_ what I was thinking. Asked me what I was going to do and I just stared at him. He and I have always been close, and he knew that coming that close to you dying is something that I'd always feared. He told me to go. When I left the precinct, I went to Josh's. I told him about what happened, about how close I came to losing you. Then I told him that whatever it was that we had – it had to end. I couldn't be with him."

Rick slowly places his hand on her hip, and breathes in the scent of her cherry shampoo. "Why?"

She sniffles, having started crying again. "I told him that I couldn't possibly be in a relationship with him, when I'm in love with someone else." She looks up now, and she swears that even though his mouth is straight, his eyes are smiling. "I love you, Rick. I think I always have, but today, almost losing you – I don't care about what anyone says. I just need you."

**CB**

_I just need you._

He never thought he'd hear those words come from Kate. He always thought that he'd know exactly what to say in a situation like this, if it ever came up – but he finds that words don't come easy. He's written this scene over and over in his head, and all he can do is push her up against the door and fuse his lips to hers.

He runs his tongue along her lower lip – the one she bites, driving him absolutely crazy when she does – and she opens her mouth, inviting him in. His left hand tangles with her right, and he pins her arm over her head, while his lips wonder down her jaw.

"Oh, god, Rick," she whispers, tilting her head to give him better access.

"Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say those words to me, Kate?" he growls, nipping her neck, slipping his free hand under her shirt to run along her abdomen.

She nods, seeking his mouth once more, "I'm sorry it took almost losing you to say it."

"At least you said it," he mumbles against her. He pulls back, and moves his wondering hand to her cheek, "I love you too, Kate. So much."

She smiles, and rests her forehead on his. She's never felt this bold in her life; she's never been in love before either. Kissing him softly, she whispers, "Help me, Rick."

"Help you what?"

A tear slides down her cheek, and he thumbs it away. "Help me know that you're really here; that I didn't lose you. Make love to me?"

"Are you sure, Kate?" he asks, his hand rubbing the exposed skin of her hip in soft circles. "Once we cross that line, I'll never be able to forget – to let go of you. I need you to be sure."

She smiles softly, leaning up on her tip toes to kiss the corner of his mouth. "I've never been more sure of anything. Loving you – being with you – is the easiest decision of my life."

**CB**

Walking the short distance to his bedroom with her hand in his is something he'd hoped for but was never sure would happen. He gives her time to look around his space – having never been in his room, he smiles when she wanders around. She spots pictures on top of his dresser. One of Martha when she was younger, baby photos of Alexis, candid's of him and Alexis, and one that has her left in shock. She picks up the silver frame, and turns to look at him.

"When was this taken?" she asks, looking down at the photo. She and Castle are standing toe-to-toe. He's got a smirk on his face, and she's trying not to smile. Her hair is straight so it wasn't too long ago.

Rick walks over to her, and looks at the photo in her hand. "The case right after I came back from the Hamptons. Ryan was trying to prove to me that there was something more than friendship between us – even though at the time there wasn't. I liked it and asked him for a copy. I figured if I couldn't have you, then this picture would be the next best thing."

She smiles, and places the picture back in its place. Turning back to him, she wraps her arms around his waist and whispers, "Well, now that you have me, what are you going to do about it?"

He bends down and kisses her; softly at first, gradually picking up speed. He gently pushes her coat off of her arms, and tosses it on a chair. She runs her hands up his back, and around to his sides, lifting up his shirt, and breaks the kiss long enough to pull the gray garment over his head. She takes a sharp breath; he's been hiding under his button up shirts and suit jackets for three years.

"You've been holding out on me," she mumbles, as her lips find his neck.

"No more of that, I promise," he whispers, moving to the buttons on her shirt.

She smiles against him, "Damn straight."

Moving further south, she reaches his belt buckle, and looks up at him, almost asking for permission. He nods slightly at her, and she feeds the leather strip through his belt loops, and soon the belt is open and she moves her hands to the button on his pants. His hands quickly cover hers and she looks up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What is it, Rick?"

"Promise me something, Kate." She nods, and he takes a breath. "Promise me that you'll have no regrets and that you'll be here when I wake up."

She stands up from her position and kisses him. "I promise." She laces their fingers and leads him over to the bed; sitting down before him she slides into the middle and rests on the pillows. Holding a hand out to him she whispers, "join me?"

He crawls up the bed, hovering over her, groaning at the fact that he's nestled comfortably between her thighs – even though they're still partially clothed – he brushes a strand of hair from her face and she smiles at him. Looking into his eyes, he knows what she wants before she even thinks to say it. He kisses a burning trail down her throat, to her collar bone, to the valley between her breasts, stopping in the middle of her torso at her half unbuttoned shirt.

He makes quick work of the last few buttons and she shrugs it off, tossing it carelessly on the floor. He reaches a hand underneath her back and with a flick of his wrist her bra is undone and he's peeling the straps from her shoulders, watching in awe as her breasts fall free from the cups. "You're beautiful, Kate."

She runs her hand through is hair and arches into him when his mouth covers over her nipple. He suckles her like a newborn would its mother; grazes his teeth over the sensitive flesh, and she's moaning his name beneath him. He releases her with a 'pop', and slides down her body, reaching her jeans. He looks up at her, taking her in. She watching him with her lower lip pulled between her teeth.

"Are you sure?" he asks again.

"Always."

He makes quick work of the button and zipper of her jeans, pulling them down only to have to pause to figure out her boots. "How do you run in these things?" he grumbles.

She smiles. "Just, shut up and pull."

Soon her boots and jeans are in a heap on the floor, and he's staring at her. He runs his hands up and down her thighs, and around her lower abdomen – skipping where she wants him most – until he finally hooks his fingers in the sides of her barely there black lace panties, and yanks them down.

"You're so wet, Kate," he whispers.

"I know," one of her hands circle around his wrist, and her eyes meet his. "I need you, Rick. Please?"

He kisses her belly, and whispers, "In time, detective, I want to take this slow."

She closes her eyes when his hot breath hits her core. A hand flies to his head, threading her fingers through his dark hair. His tongue sneaks out of his mouth, softly caressing her folds, and she moans out with pleasure. One of his hands rests on her hips to hold her down firmly on the bed while the fingers of his other hand find her wetness.

"Oh, Rick," she groans as two of his long, skilled fingers find their way inside her walls.

His mouth closes around her clit and she cries out. The vibrations of his mouth, combined with his fingers moving rapidly inside her have her climbing higher and higher, faster than any of her previous lovers, and she really shouldn't be surprised. The man knows how to use his hands; he is an author after all.

"Rick…oh god…I'm…oh, oh…mmm, god," she calls out to the ceiling, her body trembling, and her legs turning to jelly.

Removing his fingers from inside her, he climbs up to hover over her, and smiles. "Hi," he whispers.

"Hey," she smiles back, lazily, a hand coming up to pull him down to her. "That was amazing," she whispers just before she brushes her lips against his.

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm," she confirms, brushing his lips once more. "But I need you inside me, Rick. Please?"

He nods, once again claiming her neck, her hands making their way to his hips to push his pants and boxers down. He kicks them off and kneels between her legs. "Do we need - ?"

"I'm clean and on the pill," she answers. "I just want to feel you tonight, Rick, please? After what happened – I just need you."

"Kate, are you sure? I mean – what if we're that one per cent?" he asks.

Kate motions for him to come down to her, and when he does she cups his cheek. "Look, I love you, and I know that we're just getting started, but you're it for me, Castle. I'm done." She kisses him, so he won't see the tears welling in her eyes. "Please?"

He nods against her and she opens her legs wider for him. He teases her a few times, coating himself in her arousal. He pushes the tip of himself just inside her opening, and he watches as her eyes close. That's all the confirmation he needs and he pushes until he's fully sheathed in her heat. She moans, loving the way he's filling her. She's never felt so complete before, and she knows that she's never going to get enough of him.

She clinches her walls around him a couple of times, driving him completely insane. "Kate," he growls, "keep that up and this will be over far too quickly."

"Babe, please," she whispers against his neck. "I need you to move."

He's completely overwhelmed by the pet name, but begins to move. Slowly pulling away, just to slam back into her again. She meets him, thrust for thrust; she circles her hips beneath him, adding to the sensation. He changes positions, he's kneeling between her legs, hands on her hips, and his thrust become more powerful. One of her hands flies to the pillow above her head, and the other to his wrist, holding on tight.

He hits a spot deep inside her she never knew existed, and she throws her head back deeper into the pillow, "Oh, god…Rick. Don't stop."

He can feel his release building like a wildfire in the pit of his stomach; can tell that she's getting close too by the way she's writhing. "Rick, touch me. Please, I'm so close."

She guides his hand to her throbbing bundle of nerves, and touches herself with him. He works his fingers in circles around her clit adding pressure with each of her cries of pleasure. "Kate, let go."

She thrashes her head from side to side, "No, with you, please."

"Trust me," he groans, pushing harder into her. "I'm with you."

His thrusts pick up speed as does his fingers on her throbbing bundle of nerves and soon she's crying out. His name bounces off the walls of his bed room, as do a few choice explicatives. His thrusts become sloppier, as her walls contract around him and he finally lets his own climax wash over his body.

He spills into her, and collapses on top of her; mindful in his sated state to bare the majority of his weight on his forearms so as not to crush her. She's trembling beneath him, wrapping her legs around his hips, and her arms around his back, she holds him to her. Never wanting to let go.

When he moves to roll off of her, she tightens her hold. "No, stay."

"I'm going to crush you, honey," he whispers into her neck.

She smiles, and kisses his shoulder. "Just for a little bit."

"I have a better idea," he says, gripping her around the waist and rolling so she's on top of him. "There, you're lighter than me."

She kisses his chest softly, and rests her chin on her hands, looking up at him. "I love you. So much, Rick."

"I love you too, Kate."

_FIn_


End file.
